Ethereal
by Slytherin Princess Nysa
Summary: Hermione is in a mess- one she has herself and firewhiskey to blame for. She can barely make time for Crooks, let alone a living, breathing baby. Two months into the pregnancy and she's still panicking and it's still the best kept secret she has. But secrets can't stay hidden forever, especially not one growing inside her. Eventually she'll have to tell her family...and the father.
1. A Series of Unfortunate Decisions

_Ethereal_

By Slytherin Princess

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**Chapter One**

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**Ministry of Magic**

**~Hermione Granger~**

In retrospect, better decisions had been made in her life.

Most of them were made after she researched them thoroughly at the library. What didn't add up to a good decision was drinking two bottles of firewhiskey and sleeping with a friend. Now that was definitely on her list of top ten bad decisions.

In Hermione's opinion, every woman had a moment in her life where she found herself crying in a public washroom without a care in the world about who sees or hears her.

Hermione considered this her '_moment_', sitting on the cover of a toilet with her feet tucked under her chin, crushed in a tiny Ministry cubicle. A wad of toilet paper clutched tightly in her shaking hands and fat tears rolling down her face as she tried to wipe them as quickly as they fell. The Ministry washroom was usually a quiet place, not that Hermione made it a point to regularly hang around long enough to make a uniformed decision.

But today, there was a constant buzz of conversation.

The Minister's secretary complained loudly about the leather on her purse being scratched by a potions intern during her transit to work, an Unspeakable shared with her friend about having a strange reaction to her birth control potion that month, and an Auror changed her clothes in the stall next to Hermione's since her pencil skirt was ripped up to her hip from a training example gone wrong.

A knock came on the stall door and Hermione tensed when a hesitant voice came through, "Are you alright, miss?"

"Oh, yes," Hermione nodded, even though she knew the woman couldn't see her, it made her feel better just to have the normalcy of conversation. "Yes, absolutely."

"It's just, well, I heard you crying when I came in." The woman explained rather awkwardly through the thin door hiding Hermione. "And I just wanted to make sure everything was alright with you, dear."

She laughed into her wad of tissues, trying to stop the nauseating feeling churning her stomach and making her want to throw up again. "This really cute guy just cancelled a date and I have been looking forward to it for weeks." she quickly fibbed.

"Well," the woman drew, "You're a strong girl, I can tell. You don't need to depend on a boy and you can't let whoever he is make you cry. Before I met my husband I dated quite a few boys and I let them make me cry too. It took a long time for me to realize that they weren't allowed to make me cry because I deserved better. You need to do the same."

"It's just-" she sniffed and wiped at her bleary eyes. "He was very sweet and I thought he really liked me."

Truthfully, Hermione didn't know why she kept up with the lie. In some ways it really did make her feel better to live in the make-believe of the situation she had created. A boy standing her up was simple, her real situation definitely was not. Maybe it was because the woman was a complete stranger and seemed to offer up decent advice, or maybe it was because she wanted someone to just talk to her.

"Sweetheart, I'm sure he really did." Hermione thought the woman sounded sincere. "Maybe something came up or perhaps he was just not worth your time in the first place. Pull yourself together and do the best for you."

"You're right," Hermione tossed the tissues in the wastebasket before standing.

When she came out of the stall, the kindly woman was standing next to the sinks with an expression of pride on her face. She was middle-aged and had wisps of greying hair falling over her eyes. Hermione couldn't remember having seen her in the Ministry before but she looked like the type of person Hermione would befriend on a muggle train.

Hermione stepped up to the sink, quickly washing her hands and turning to dig through her purse for some concealer for her puffy eyes. She didn't normally carry makeup with her but after bursting into tears that morning because her oatmeal went cold before she could finish it, she had thought that maybe it was a good idea. She found the little tube and quickly patted the brush over the red bags under her bloodshot eyes.

When she looked passably human, she stuffed the makeup back into her purse and turned back to the woman watching her against the counter.

"Here you go, dear," she said as she handed Hermione a tissue for her running nose. "Are you feeling any better?"

"Yes, I think I am." Strangely, she almost meant it that time. Maybe she just needed to keep herself distracted at all times until her issue was buried so deeply in her mind that she would never remember it again. Until it became impossible to avoid it.

"Are you sure that's all that was bothering you?" Her insistent eyes were trained on her like a hawk, looking for any inconsistencies in her story. Hermione saw her eyes scan her skin, looking for any bruises or more obvious makeup. "You were in there for quite a long time."

"I suppose work stress just built on top of the ruined date." Hermione explained calmly before she shook her head at her new friend. "And Harry has been driving me up the wall, he keeps calling in sick to take care of his godson and it's a miracle that he hasn't been fired." She froze suddenly, realizing what she was doing. "I don't know why I unloaded all my problems on you. I don't even know your name."

"Rachel Perkly, it's nice to officially meet you." She held her hand to meet Rachel's and she smiled when they shook on it like they weren't hanging out in the Ministry lavatory an hour past her lunch break. "You're Hermione Granger, I recognize you from your spreads in Witch Weekly. You're much prettier in person than in photograph."

"Thank you," she said sweetly. At least something had come from those vexing reporters lurking around her for weeks. "For the compliment and everything else you've done for me today. I've been having a hard time recently and you really helped me."

When they parted at the door, Hermione gave Rachel a hug. Something she really wouldn't have considered doing half an hour ago. They exchanged floo addresses and promised to have lunch soon so Rachel could check in on Hermione's fictional boyfriend problem. Hermione mentally promised herself that she would eventually tell Rachel the truth about what was making her cry in the first place.

Hermione reached her office in the Department of Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures uneventfully, feeling more relaxed than she had been before her breakdown. Her office door was slightly open and she could see the light was on inside.

For a moment she couldn't remember if she had a meeting, but when she spotted the sandy hair and nervous wringing of hands sitting in the seat in front of her desk, her shoulders slumped forward and she smiled warmly. He could often be found lingering around her office when she didn't have meetings scheduled.

"Remus, I'm sorry, I completely forgot that we had a meeting this afternoon." Hermione threw her purse on the cabinet behind her chair and sat down gently. "Can you give me a little reminder about what it's about?" she asked shyly.

"Well, we didn't but I walked Harry back from lunch and Teddy went home with Dora." Remus explained lightly and brought his briefcase from under his long legs. He dug through the front pocket before pulling out a thick packet of paper. "I thought we could go over the werewolf legislature again before it goes to the Wizengamot."

Hermione chuckled and gave him a nod, she continued to smile as he flipped to the first page. "We went over it a dozen times before we even proposed it, not to mention the other ten since it went to review. Remus, it'll be okay."

Remus' fingers scanned the points printed on the paper and he gripped the paper tightly, Hermione knew it was the most important thing to him after Teddy and Tonks. "There's been hundreds of years of hatred and oppression of werewolves, I'm scared that the law won't be passed because of an uneven vote at the Wizengamot."

Hermione reached for his hand, giving him a reassuring squeeze. "We have Sirius in the Black seat, Harry in the Potter seat, Draco in the Malfoy seat and a slew of other people who support us on the council. They're our friends and they love you, they'll fight for this legislature and for fairness. Just like me and everyone in my department." Before Remus could say anything else, she gave his hand a firm pinch with her fingers to keep him quiet. "And if it doesn't go through on the first try, we will push for it again and again."

"You've done so much for me, I know this wouldn't be happening without your help and support. I just need to go over this one more time." Remus was sheepish and he nudged the documents into her waiting hands, looking like a child on Christmas when she took them.

"One last time!" She teased. "For today."

He grinned and pointed at the clock chiming five before flicking through the first few pages. "Okay but only because we have be at the Weasley's dinner at nine. I've been meaning to ask since you came in, but what are you wearing, Mione?"

It wasn't like Remus to comment on her- or anyone else's- clothing. Hermione looked down at herself in curiosity, Hermione knew she hadn't been looking her best recently but she thought she had been doing okay. Her irregular flat shoes kept her shorter than most of the people she worked with, her pants were a size too big and sat oddly on her thighs, her blouse hung down her shoulders and sat untucked, and her robe was half buttoned.

"I got dressed quickly this morning and haven't had a chance to change." Her face lit up in a dark blush and she self consciously tugged her robe closed over her chest. "I don't have any huge meetings today so I didn't think anything of it, do I look terrible?"

"Oh no!" Remus quickly amended. "I've just never seen you look more than pristine. I thought you might be feeling unwell and you smell a little weird."

"Thank you for being worried, but I'm alright." Hermione distantly thought about Remus, werewolf with advanced senses, being around her constantly recently. Being able to see and smell things that normal witches and warlocks couldn't. That could cause a problem.

Not to mention Remus' other experience with people in her situation.

She hated lying to her friends, especially since she was always the one encouraging honesty between all of them. But the truth was she couldn't accept it herself yet, let alone involve her friends and family in the mess she'd accidentally made.

"Hey, actually, I have to go drop some documents off to another department. But I promise that we'll go over this all over again before the next council meeting." Remus gave her a look like he didn't believe her, his nostrils flaring as he inhaled deeply and Hermione pretended like she couldn't see it as she pulled out a thick manila folder from the stack behind her.

It wasn't exactly a lie, she did have paperwork to drop off at the Department of Child Services and Foster Care. She was just choosing to overlook that it wasn't due until next week. Lying to Remus was just another wrong decision on her list.

Speaking of bad decisions, the baby she hadn't told anyone about for the last two months was definitely number one on her list.

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_To be continued..._

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**Care to venture a guess about who the father is?**

**I want to apologize for starting a new story when Mend is nowhere near finished but I couldn't get this out of my head. Since I've never been pregnant, I'm relying on Google and you guys for all pregnancy information. If any of you have been pregnant, please tell me _anything_ about it. Sickness, pain, hormones, and pretty much anything else you can think of.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I also don't have a beta so pointing out any mistakes would be greatly appreciated. _Ethereal_ discounts the deaths of several key characters- including, but not limited to, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Fred Weasley and Nymphadora Tonks.**


	2. Where Everyone Finds Out

**Chapter Two**

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**The Burrow**

**~Hermione Granger~**

The Burrow was alive with the sound of Weasleys preparing dinner. Hermione came in as quietly as she could through the back door, although even if she stomped her feet and yelled, with the noise coming from the living room no one would have heard her anyways. Watching Molly pushing out plates and glasses to her children before shooting them away from the kitchen, Hermione felt like a liar.

Mainly because she was one.

No one knew that she was pregnant, no one even suspected as far as she knew.

And they had no reason to. She hadn't been seeing anyone in over two years, hadn't so much as gone on a date since she and Ron broke up after graduation Hogwarts. He'd wanted to explore a career in Quidditch and Hermione couldn't handle the back and forth between cities with her new job so they'd broken up, quiet amicably. And she hadn't seen anyone seriously since, much to Ginny and Molly's chagrin. Not that her baby was the product of a date, more of a night with less inhibitions and more alcohol than a sane person would have.

Hermione dropped her purse and jacket on the coat rack next to the door, taking care to straighten her shirt and make sure it didn't outline the small bump there. Distantly she wondered how much longer she could keep it all a secret, even further in her mind, she wondered why she kept it a secret at all.

Wouldn't it be easier if her family knew? But there was the gnawing fear that had been building in the back of her head since she found out.

They would be disappointed with her, she realized. Unmarried, entirely unattached to anyone, and career oriented. Those things didn't exactly scream 'ready for a lifelong commitment to a completely dependent pint sized person'. She was the most responsible person and she could research pregnancy until her fingers bled, but Hermione wasn't good with children. She didn't know how to spoon feed and change diapers and sooth temper tantrums.

Would her baby be like her? Book smart, awkward at making friends and too opinionated and stubborn for her own good. Or would the baby be like its father? Filled to the brim with sarcastic comments and witty banter, a taste for firewhiskey and soulful grey eyes.

"Oh, Hermione, dear," Molly was smiling at her serenely from the counter, a plate of steaming buns in her hands. "How long have you been there?"

"Not long," The truth was that she didn't exactly know how long she had been standing there, looking into nothing and questioning everything. Molly handed the plate off to Arthur as he came through the door and pulled her into a crushing hug once they were alone.

She smelled like home and Hermione reveled in it. She blew a chunk of orange hair away from her mouth and wrapped her arms tightly around Molly. The hug lasted a moment before Molly jerked back, holding Hermione's shoulders to study her. A slight frown turning at the corner of her lips as she thought.

"Hermione?" Molly asked gently and Hermioe knew the older woman knew something. She should have known better than to think that Molly, mother of seven, wouldn't notice. Especially with how tightly Molly had been hugging her, she would have been able to feel the rounding of her stomach. No matter how slight it still was.

"I'm-" and then the tears came.

Molly looked startled and she looked pointedly between her stomach and her eyes. She looked quiet blurry to Hermione and the little witch did her best not to look too pitiful as she covered her face, using her sleeves to mop up the snot running from her nose.

She hadn't cried since she found out, not truly counting the two meltdowns she'd had that same day because really it made her feel better pretending like they hadn't happened at all, a little part of her hoping that if she kept pretending it wasn't real then it wouldn't be. Incredibly stupid for someone called 'the brightest witch of her age' her whole life.

"Molly-" Hermione couldn't breathe, it felt like there was a lump in her throat, keeping her from taking a deep breath and her nose wouldn't stop running.

"It's alright, Hermione," Molly pulled her back into her arms. She hushed her softly, "Sweet girl, it'll be okay."

And then Hermione truly realized how alone she'd been since she found out. She had no one to talk to about her fears in being a mother and raising a baby, she had no one to comfort her when she was throwing up here insides at all hours of the day, or to tell her which cream would make her breasts stop aching. Mentally, she chastised herself for not seeking a veteran mothers help. Of course Molly would ask questions about how it happened and with who but Hermione didn't know how to answer those questions, or even if she should.

Once she had started crying, Hermione couldn't stop. Fat tears rolled down her burning cheeks faster than Molly could wipe them away and she could feel her body shaking with sobs. Distantly she wondered if anyone in the living room could hear her and if they would be coming to check on what was going on, but she couldn't bring herself to care.

Everyone would figure it out now that Molly knew.

Her chest felt like it was being punched in and she couldn't stop the tremors running wildly over her skin, leaving her shivering in Molly's arms. Molly rocked her gently as they stood in the middle of the kitchen, her motherly voice talking calmly in her ear. Telling her that everything would be okay, that they would figure it out together.

And Hermione believed her.

"Hermione?" she heard a voice calling out to her but she couldn't look up. Hermione buried her face deeper into Molly's shoulder, gasping for breath. A warm hand dropped to her shoulder and Hermione leaned into the heat without pulling out of Molly's arms.

"Now's not a good time, Harry dear." Molly whispered but Hermione knew her best friend well enough to know he wouldn't listen to anyone when Hermione was upset.

Harry rubbed her arms and ran his fingers through her hair, pushing messy curls away from her face. Hermione could hear the fear in his voice when he looked at her red and blotchy face. "Are you okay? 'Mione?"

Hermione took a deep breath before she straightened herself up and turned away from Molly, she gave Harry a slight smile, the best she could come up with when she felt like her life was flashing before her eyes. "I don't know, Harry, but you should go back to the others."

"I'm not leaving you like this," Hermione wanted to roll her eyes and laugh because of course Harry Potter would be too stubborn to do what he's told. But when she tried it came out choked and she had to swallow back a new wave of tears.

Would Harry think less of her? He and Ginny were well within their careers and she knew they respected her decision not to date until she was well set up in her department, but would they understand this? She knew they wanted kids, with how much they fawned over Teddy, Hermione knew they were waiting impatiently to be lucky enough to get pregnant. Ginny had told her they weren't trying but they also weren't taking precautions against it.

The door creaked open and she saw a head of red hair pop through, he was grinning but the smile dropped from his face when he caught sight of Hermione. Charlie came into the kitchen, his legs moving in wide strides, he kissed his mum on the temple and picked up Hermione's hand. "Hey, what's going on in here?"

"She won't say." Harry said with a shake of his head and Hermione hit his shoulder lightly, wishing she had more strength behind her hit but since her morning sickness was taking the life out of her all week, she was lucky that she could even stand.

The oven timer rang and Molly sprang into a tizzy, waving her wand about the room. A large, piping hot roast floated from the oven and a dozen potatoes mashed themselves with a stick of butter. Molly began to place the dishes around the table.

Charlie and Harry steered her towards the living room and while Hermione tried to resist, her legs felt like gelatin and her skin felt tender and her eyes were raw. It all felt like too much for her and she grabbed onto their hands to anchor herself as the boys continued pushing her lightly towards the door.

Then there was noise. Too much noise.

Her family was spread out in the living room.

Remus and Sirius were arm wrestling, kneeling on either side of the coffee table, while the rest of the room took bets and cheered for one or both of them. Bill was sitting in the recliner, Fleur on his lap as they smiled lovingly at each other, giving a courtesy call for their friends once in a while. Fred and George were showing Ginny one of their new joke items from their store, the three of them cramped on the couch next to a sloshed Angelina and Tonks. The two of them were yelling at Remus and Sirius, Draco sitting on the floor between their legs.

Ginny yelled towards the door, "Oi! Charlie have you found that husband of mine yet?"

"Or a new bottle of firewhiskey?" pitched in Angelina, causing cheers to erupt from her boyfriend and his twin.

Tonks was leaning down to whisper something into her blonde cousin's ear and Draco rolled his eyes heavesway, but a grin lit up his face. Remus slammed Sirius' hand down with a shout of victory and Sirius stammered out a want for a rematch, followed by yelling about unfair werewolf advantage.

It was Fleur who noticed something was wrong, she glanced away from her husband, mouth opened slightly as if preparing to ask something. When she saw Hermione, being held between Charlie and Harry, she popped up from Bill's lap and gracefully moved through the room, coming to stand in front of Hermione.

"Hermione, vat iz wrong?" Fleur drew everyone else's attention and Hermione sniffed loudly, eyes dropping to the ground.

When she didn't answer Harry wrapped his arm around her and led her to the chair Bill had stood from. Hermione sank into the cushion, pulling her legs up to her chest. The only person who knew about the baby, other than her and her healer, was Molly. And she knew Molly wouldn't tell anyone if Hermione asked her not to, but she would want her to tell the family. Molly was big on openness and trust.

It had gotten quiet, everyone looking at her in varying degrees of concern. She could feel a particular set of grey eyes trained on her, but she ignored him more than anyone else.

"Dinner should be ready by now." Remus tried, glancing between his wife and his best friend. Hermione knew that if she let them change the subject, they would all let her take her time until she was ready to tell them what's going on.

Arthur came down the stairs with Ron at his side, Ron was laughing at something his father had said and Arthur was humming a tune that Hermione couldn't recognize.

Would she learn all the common baby lullabies when she was a mother?

She looked between her friends. Ginny had moved to stand beside Charlie while Tonks dropped down next to a worried Draco. Remus was looking at her and Hermione could tell he was overthinking about all the odd things she'd been doing under his nose at the department. Sirius had dropped his head onto his arms, turning his head to the side like a puppy.

"I've been lying to all of you," she started, cringing away from everyone's shocked expressions. "Well, not lying. I've been keeping a secret."

"You can tell us anything, Mione." Ron said, coming to sit on the arm of her chair and rubbing her arm with his rough hand. "We're your family."

"I don't want any of you to think less of me," she sounded meek even to her own ears. Small, delicate, breakable.

Harry dropped in front of her, gently pulling her legs away from her. Taking away her shield from everyone else in the room. "Never!"

"Maybe we should give her a minute," Angelina suggested and George nodded.

"No," Hermione shook her head. "If you give me a minute, I'll only chicken out of saying anything until it becomes obvious."

Tonks sat with her legs crossed, "Until what becomes obvious?"

Hermione took a deep breath, her eyes screwed shut tightly, "Until the b-" she choked on the word. "Baby. Until the baby, Tonks."

Hermione heard gasps, whether they were made from disbelief or disgust she didn't know but she had a small comfort in knowing that her family wouldn't hate her for having a baby by herself. She just hoped they wouldn't be angry with her for keeping it a secret from them and for being so irresponsible.

She tried to hide her face but Ron and Harry wouldn't let her. Both of them surging forward to wrap their arms around her and hold her. It felt like they were trying to hold together the crumbling pieces and Hermione wondered when her stupid hormones would let her get off the ledge of sobbing at every turn. She wasn't crying now, just wallowing in her shame as her two best friends held onto her for dear life.

"Oh, Hermione," Ginny reached to smooth out her hair, the gesture comforting and reminiscent of a mother's touch. "You're sure you're pregnant?" she asked softly, wanting to confirm before she reacted.

Hermione looked at Ginny over Harry's unruly black hair and nodded, well, jerked her head up and down as best she could. Ron's arms tightened around her and Hermione tried to learn to breathe properly again.

From the corner of her eye, Hermione saw Angelina ushering a shellshocked Fred and George into the kitchen. Arthur disappearing quietly behind them. Hermione was thankful that there were less people in the room but she couldn't stop thinking about the pair of grey eyes that were trained on her, the ones she was avoiding.

Fleur and Bill squeezed her shoulder as they passed by her, moving through the door where the majority of Weasley's had disappeared through. Hermione knew they were probably listening in, with Fred and George being there, it was a high possibility.

"Do you want us to give you four a minute alone?" Remus asked, gesturing towards himself, Tonks, Sirius and Draco. Hermione nodded, trying to hide how relieved she was that those grey eyes would be going away soon. The four of them rose and, one by one, withdrew from the room.

_He_ was the last one to leave the room, throwing a last look towards her. One of wonder.

Hermione couldn't help it, she stared at the door after it closed. After him. Did he remember their night together? Was he putting the pieces together that he was the father?

Her head was pounding with a growing headache and she felt terrible for ruining everyone's night. She willed herself to stop acting like a little girl and put her woman trousers on. She couldn't be a mother and blubber like a baby every time something went wrong.

"Why don't you start at the beginning?" Harry asked after he had pulled himself away. He made himself more comfortable on the floor at her feet. "Who's the father?"

Hermione paled.

Ginny glanced between her brother and her husband before turning slightly towards Hermione again. "Who's the father, Hermione?"

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_To be continued..._

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**A huge thank you to rabradley09 and Bookloverdream for helping me figure out how to write a pregnancy and for being superheroes in their own right for going through that. I certainly couldn't handle it. And a thank you to all of you who started following this story and for all your guesses about who the father is, I will continue keeping the secret for a while though so don't count on an easy reveal!**

**Please enjoy, follow, favourite and leave your best guesses in a review!**

**An apology to all one hundred of you (holy shit there's a hundred people following after one chapter), I'm sorry I haven't updated this. I ended up in Europe with no computer and then Game of Thrones season 8 kicked my ass. But on a bright note, if you like GoT, I have stories for that now.**


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